Funny Marriage Quotes........

I recently read that love is entirely a matter of
chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like
toxic waste.


When a man steals your wife, there is no better
revenge than to let him keep her.


After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a
coin; they just can't face each other, but still they
stay together.


By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be
happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a
philosopher.


Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us
from achieving them.


The great question... which I have not been able to
answer... is, 'What does a woman want?


I had some words with my wife, and she had some
paragraphs with me.


'There's a way of transferring funds that is even
faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage.'



'I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one
left me, and the second one didn't.'

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you're right, shut up.


The most effective way to remember your wife's
birthday is to forget it once...


You know what I did before I married? Anything I
wanted to.



A good wife always forgives her husband when she's
wrong.



First Guy (proudly): 'My wife's an angel!'
Second Guy: 'You're lucky, mine's still alive.'